Serving the Geftakys'

[Eulaha L. Long]

Last night, I remembered more about the time I lived with Tim and Ginger.

I remember that part of my stewardships was to clean the ashes out of the fireplace.  I never started a fire myself, so I was constantly cleaning up after everyone else.

I distictly remember Dawn bringing over some friends from UCI after a prayer meeting, building a fire, and talking well after midnight.  When I woke up the next day, before I left for work, I had to clean up those ashes.  Of course I could not leave the fire place tools wuth the ashes, so I had to clean them as well.

Cinderella, Cinderella!  I realize now that I was nothing more than an unpaid and unappreciated chamber maid for the Geftakys.  I'm not the only one either.

[d3z]

Some of the stewardships were downright silly.  I spent about a year, dusting everything in the garage.  The head steward kept trying to give me consequences.  The white-glove test wouldn't pass unless he did it immediately after I had dusted things.

And yes, floors were cleaned, bathrooms tidied up, all after being used by other people.

The wierd thing is that doing stuff like this, out of a generous heart, to serve others is a good thing.  The assembly training-home mindset was to force the appearance of these behaviors, supposedly thinking that they would become reality.

Generally, all I got out of it was resentment.

[Joe Sperling]

THe funniest thing in my memory about the stewardships was how people made time to do them.
I remember one brother who would vacuum at 5:00 in the morning(when he could get away with it). I remember once missing most of a day that I wanted to use visiting my brother, whom I had not seen for a year due to his being in the Air Force. Nope----waxing floors was far more important than seeing a family member. And those in charge, knowing full well my anxiousness to get going, insisted I re-do large sections of the floor due to my "hurrying" to finish. It was absolutely ridiculous. But that was the Assembly wasn't it?  When it was RULES vs. COMPASSION, RULES always won out.

--Joe

[outdeep]

There is a certain irony that I could go without reading my Bible for a week, but woe be unto me if I missed the speck on the refrigerator.

[Uh Oh]

Last night, I remembered more about the time I lived with Tim and Ginger.

I remember that part of my stewardships was to clean the ashes out of the fireplace.  I never started a fire myself, so I was constantly cleaning up after everyone else.

I distictly remember Dawn bringing over some friends from UCI after a prayer meeting, building a fire, and talking well after midnight.  When I woke up the next day, before I left for work, I had to clean up those ashes.  Of course I could not leave the fire place tools wuth the ashes, so I had to clean them as well.

Cinderella, Cinderella!  I realize now that I was nothing more than an unpaid and unappreciated chamber maid for the Geftakys.  I'm not the only one either.

Wellllllllllll, you certainly couldn't expect Tim Geftakys with his busy schedule to clean the fire place or do daily "stewardships" After all, with a daily itinerary that included embezzling from those who trusted in him, giving out all that  "godly" counsel to others, covering up for his dad and his brother and all this while carring a full time job - oh wait...he never worked....  On top of all this, he must have been faithfully observing the anti-Adkins (Whataburgers, Taco Bell, Coca Cola, Arby's) diet.  There is no way he could sport that  sort of physique without a conscious effort.

[Joseph Reisinger]

hey Eulaha..
sorry to break the sympathetic tone of this thread - but i'm just wondering, were you the only one in that household that had stewardships?  or were you the only one there who had to clean up after others?  Is it only assembly life which includes self-less service?  I live in a basement appartment and have guests over all the time.  So do my two roomates.  We clean up after each other all the time, and yet I haven't seen either of them or myself complaining about it.  
I suppose if you live by yourself and have no friends, you can get to the point where you only do things for yourself, but should you choose to be a social being, i don't see how such things can be avoided.

i am sympathetic towards all those who suffered wrong at the hands of the unhealthy system that was the assembly, but i cannot help but notice that you only have memories of complaint in all your dealings with the geftakyses - which seems like either you have a selective memory, or have problems with bitterness.  Note that i am not saying you do - only that it comes accross that way to me.

Joseph

[Eulaha L. Long]

I no longer have any bitterness regarding my Assembly experience, but I do think it's perfectly ok (and healthy) to look at the negative situations.  It's ok to get angry about how I was treated.  And, if you look the the thread I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT, I did talk about some of the positive experiences of my Assembly experience.

[Scott McCumber]

hey Eulaha..
sorry to break the sympathetic tone of this thread - but i'm just wondering, were you the only one in that household that had stewardships?  or were you the only one there who had to clean up after others?  Is it only assembly life which includes self-less service?  I live in a basement appartment and have guests over all the time.  So do my two roomates.  We clean up after each other all the time, and yet I haven't seen either of them or myself complaining about it.  
I suppose if you live by yourself and have no friends, you can get to the point where you only do things for yourself, but should you choose to be a social being, i don't see how such things can be avoided.

i am sympathetic towards all those who suffered wrong at the hands of the unhealthy system that was the assembly, but i cannot help but notice that you only have memories of complaint in all your dealings with the geftakyses - which seems like either you have a selective memory, or have problems with bitterness.  Note that i am not saying you do - only that it comes accross that way to me.

Joseph

Joseph,

It is quite easy to jump into the middle of a conversation, take things out of context and throw around terms like "bitter".

It's also easy to judge everyone's Assembly experience by your own. "It wasn't that awful for me, therefore you must be either bitter or exaggerating your experience."

If you had actually been following the tone of this board the last few days you might have seen something like this:

    Likewise, in our stewardships, we were to serve the Lord through our service to one another with gladness.  I delight to do thy will, O GOD.  But the rigorous pace demanded by our taskmasters (reflecting the pace demanded of them by their masters) took all the joy out of it, so that no one even remembered, much less explained, why we did the things we did.  The measures we should have been taking in joyful gratitude to our Redeemer became drudgery, and were actually meted out as punishments!!!
     If you want your children to learn to enjoy writing, don't assign writing as punishment...  If you want your athletes to appreciate running, don't assign laps around the track as punishment.  If you want to teach anyone the joy of serving, you must first embrace that joy yourself, then share it with them, and never use service to punish.

 al

Which would put Eulaha's comments in a different context than that which you would like to place them.

Scott McCumber

[Arthur]

I live in a basement appartment and have guests over all the time.  So do my two roomates.  We clean up after each other all the time, and yet I haven't seen either of them or myself complaining about it.  

I think you hit on what's at issue here, Joseph.  Living with roommates is different than living with the Geftakyses.  

Like you said, you each clean up after each other all the time without complaining about it.  That's understandable with three reasonable, mature adults cohabitating together in harmony.

But let's say that one day one of your roommates decides that he's much better than the other two of you.  He declares that he doesn't have to clean up after himself, and he expects that you two will do all of his chores.  He leaves his clothes lying all around the house and expects you to pick them up, yes even his dirty underwear and socks.  He expects you to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for him, do his laundry, iron his clothes, wash his car, and clean his room.  And remember, all of this he does with an attitude that he is better than you and that you deserve to be under him and do these servile tasks.  In fact, if you don't do them, he's going to make you pay for it.  

See the difference?  



Hmm, curious, would the plural of Geftakys be Geftaki?  Heh :-)

[outdeep]

My funny Stewardship Story

Steve Irons had a distiller.  It didn't make the hard stuff, but it made distilled water because Betty probably told Margaret that it was healthier.

Once a week, it was my job to soak the inside of the distiller with vinegar to get the calcium off.   After getting it cleaned off, I would refill the top chamber and turn it on.  The water in the top chamber would heat up, vaporize and then drop into the lower chamber, which held the distilled water.  The dinner table pitcher would be filled from the lower chamber.

One night, we were all eating dinner and we were commenting on the fact that the water tasted funny.  We theorized various scenarios such as the scent from the plastic pipe or some residue of vinegar.  We thought and thought and our theories became more elaborate, but no one could put their finger on the reason behind the unique taste in the water.

That night, before the Wednesday night Bible study, we were stuffed into the tiny boardroom for pre-prayer.  Like a flash, a light went on in my mind and it took every bit of energy I could muster to keep from convulsing with laughter during a brother's long prayer.

It suddenly dawned on me that Randy Sutton had been looking for a pitcher to apply fish emulsion fertilizer to the garden.  I suddenly realized that he must have used the same pitcher that I use to fill the distiller when I was done cleaning it.

Let's just say we drank organically that night.

[Mark Kisla]

I was assigned to bake a chocolate cake for a fellowship. I had never baked anything before so I got out a cook book and the recipe called for 6-1 oz. peices of chocolate. I mis read and tried mixing in 61 oz. of chocolate. I was burning up the  mixer when I realized my mistake, but I figured more chocolate is better anyway and went ahead and baked it.
It was the first thing completely devoured at the fellowship.

[Joseph Reisinger]

arrgghh.. i hate it when i start writing a reply and then accidently navigate away from the page, only to return to find i've lost all that i typed... typical absent mindedness

anyway
Arthur, i agree - i would get out of that situation as quick as i could - either by getting another apartement or kicking him out as the situation dictated.
an important difference though, is that going into a 'training home' we kind of knew what to expect.  you expected to be in a form of quasi-servitude as the price to pay for our your continuing perfection.  

Scott, i enjoyed reading your criticism, condesension notwithstanding.  I believe that each assemblyite situation was different, and therefore, i do not use my experience as justification for my critique of another post.  (and *that* you can quote me on)  I love your other quote by Al (which i wholeheartedly agree with) but definitely take into account the fact that it was posted after Eulaha posted her 'horror story'.  
so.. i would not like to 'place Eulaha's comments *into* a context.' nor would it make sense for you to place them into a context that happened after she wrote them.  
if you read what i said carefully, i was making a point about the way her comments come accross - not passing judgement on her or her intentions.

by the way Eulaha - i found your post under "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT" and enjoyed it... truly - it's hard to find the type of comraderie and bonding that was prevelant in the assembly.  I consider myself very fortunate to have found a church home at Harvest in Glenn Ellyn Illinois - where i've also met people that i can be myself with - and have no pressure of being extra spiritual all the time.  
i was just wondering - did you ever have a single positive experience with the geftakys's?  any of them?

Joseph - with all due respect

[Scott McCumber]

Scott, i enjoyed reading your criticism, condesension notwithstanding.  I believe that each assemblyite situation was different, and therefore, i do not use my experience as justification for my critique of another post.  (and *that* you can quote me on)  I love your other quote by Al (which i wholeheartedly agree with) but definitely take into account the fact that it was posted after Eulaha posted her 'horror story'.  
so.. i would not like to 'place Eulaha's comments *into* a context.' nor would it make sense for you to place them into a context that happened after she wrote them.  
if you read what i said carefully, i was making a point about the way her comments come accross - not passing judgement on her or her intentions.

Joseph - with all due respect

Joseph, Re: Placing Eulaha's comments into a context.

If you will read my post carefully, I stated that this has been a common theme that has been fairly active over the last few days. I quoted Al's post as an example. There are several others. The order of the two posts is irrelevant. Perhaps I did not express that well. My fault.

Re: Commenting on the way Eulaha's comments come across

I understood you perfectly well. I interpreted it as a clever way to throw an accusation of bitterness into the forum without having to take responsibility for it. If I am incorrect, I apologize.

Scott

[Arthur]

arrgghh.. i hate it when i start writing a reply and then accidently navigate away from the page, only to return to find i've lost all that i typed... typical absent mindedness

Oh yeah, the worst is when you type for over an hour (beyond the limit of log-in time), then you click "Post" and a message comes up saying you need to log in to post --and it looses everything Kinda like I just did  Arggggg!!!!  

Arthur, i agree - i would get out of that situation as quick as i could - either by getting another apartement or kicking him out as the situation dictated.
an important difference though, is that going into a 'training home' we kind of knew what to expect.  you expected to be in a form of quasi-servitude as the price to pay for our your continuing perfection.  

Consider also as part of that situation that the spiritual shepherds at the church you go to, people that you trust, counsel you to remain in that situation as part of God's will for your life.  Consider also that after years of coercive persuasion and thought reform you actually believe that God wants you to stay to teach you the way of the cross, the sufferings of Jesus and to learn to go another's way.  I know it's messed up, but consider also that a few years later you realize what has happened and you get a bit peeved at the thought that you ever served that pompous jerk of a roommate.  Right? Wrong? I dunno, but it's more refreshing to hear someone genuinely vent than to hear a hundred fake, "Yes I'm rejoicing brother."

i was just wondering - did you ever have a single positive experience with the geftakys's?  any of them?

Yes, I have.  I remember one Saturday that I was preparing for Sunday's ministry and not getting it.  David walked by and I asked him about the passage.  He took the time to explain it to me and I really appreciated that.  There are many different good times that would take a long time to type.  A few were with leadership, but most were with my fellow common peon saints

There were a couple of times that I met with George in which I actually had a good time.  One time we talked about some spiritual issue, I don't remember exactly, but I know it had something to do with a person's desire to be closer to God.  We really connected (I know in retrospect, that sounds scary, but hey).  He showed me some of his personal favorite books on theology, we talked and laughed and then he prayed for me and hugged me.  I don't know what to make of it now.  I had no idea about the you-know-what going on behind the scenes. But at the time he seemed like a nice, older gentleman that I could respect.  

On another occasion there was an issue that was bugging my conscience on which I needed some advice.  George was very candid with me and gave me good advice which worked out great.

The more I think about George, the more I cannot deny that there must have been some good, some spiritual life in him at one time.  However, I think his pride had a death-grip on it and everything he touched, including his ministry.  Man, he's like Darth Vader!  So great potential for good, but turned into a tool of the enemy.  A warning to us all.  Pride and immorality were his downfall.

The assembly experience was filled with dichotomies

Arthur

[Margaret]

Arthur -

Maybe George was more like Gollum -  an evil side and a less evil/"good" side?  Maybe the "good" side was a manipulation to ensnare a sincere person