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Author Topic: MY REASONS FOR APOLOGIZING  (Read 8896 times)
lenore
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« on: May 14, 2004, 04:08:47 am »

Shocked Roll Eyes Cry Embarrassed:

Now getting to thoses reason, excuses and quirks:

1. REASONS:
A.  FORTY YEAR ARM TOO SHORT,
my sight:  -- I have an NIV bible that is large print at the church. and a NKVJ at home.
I just started wearing reading glasses a year ago.
My eyes have adjusted too well with the glasses.
I cannot see the printed word clearly anymore with out them.
A1. My computer is in my bedroom: i have just a small desk lamp, to light up my room.
IN THOSE MULTI WINDOWS,   Huh how do you do that anyways. Huh  I cant read them...!!!! Roll Eyes Tongue .    I know they are a conversation between two people. So I just let those multiwindow conversations remain private.

B:  HEARING IMPAIRED:
I tend to write the way I speak. Undecided In a crowded room, or in a noise area, unless I can see everyone talking, able to see there mouths , Lips sealed  and I have difficulty hearing my own voice. Undecided
I tend to be higher on the vocal scale. Shocked
It is very frustrating: Angry Embarrassed Tongue Roll Eyes
If you are talking to low, because you are not confident enough, then they are asking you to repeat yourself,   Embarrassed if you are asking them to continually repeat themself, for they are speaking too low, they  have not  Huh  maintained eye contact, or their hands or something else in front to of their mouths. It can be embarassing to answer any of their questions, because you really havent understood what was said, and you may come up with something totally different, off the wall topic. Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Huh Roll Eyes
So overcompensation vocal wise, becomes an effort to be heard and to hear. Huh Huh Tongue
There are times that  with the same person,   Sad who thinks it is fun to accuse me of talking too low, then yelling at them , for when I try to make my heard.
Then cruelly tell me to clean out my ears, and pay attention. It is rather frustrating and spiritually damaging. This came from my younger daughter.   Shocked Cry Embarrassed Sad  It was not a teenage excuse, it was a way for her to control the alpha female of the family. Shocked

B1. I tend to write the way I talk.  Tongue  So caps becomes as way to be heard and to hear. Roll Eyes
CAPS is not shouting to me:   Wink It is just the a tool I use. Kiss

EXCUSES:
I have a business certificate of 1977, for clerk typist.
I worked in the canadian government from 1978 to 1983, as a typist ST TYP 2. using the old clunker electric type writer, or even the one you had to manual go back to the next line.  Roll Eyes
Because of this I tend to correct my sentences as I go along. Grin Wink

My English grammar was my poorest subject in school. So concentrating on my grammar, was a real effort, and pulled down my grades.  Undecided

 QUIRKS: Roll Eyes Roll Eyes

I WRITE THE WAY I TALK: Shocked Roll Eyes Wink

Plus: I perfer the even flow of caps,  Kiss  as well, I dont have to stop and think,   Roll Eyes to use the cap for the I's or the beginning of sentences. I can just talk , making my talking with out interrupting for , English edict. Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Cheesy
I can just CONTINUING WITH THE TALKING. Roll Eyes Kiss Smiley Wink Cheesy

 APOLOGY: Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Cry Cry Cry

The above  three  reasons/excuses/quirks/
are just that excuses. Embarrassed

I AM SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANY ONE AND EVERY ONE,  for the way I used CAPS. Embarrassed Cry

IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION TO  OFFEND, all I wanted was to be an encourager, not a hinderance in ex assembly members, lifes. By doing that  I was also encouraging my self: Embarrassed Tongue Roll Eyes
WHY: Huh Embarrassed Cry :(Due to financial difficulties, actually having no financial resources coming in for the past two months. Financial stresses due to no financial resources coming for financial responsibilities. With that, no financial resources, no resources to have access to prescriptions for my antidepressives. Cry Cry
Clinical depression, is becoming so much a battle now a days that , by going from 200 mg a day of generic brand of zoloft, to 0 mg a day. It is becoming clearer, that the illness is taking over again. Cry Cry
By becoming an ENCOURAGER on the post, if I encouraged even one purpose, then God has granted me a blessing.  Cheesy If I have OFFENDED anyone due to my CAPS QUIRK then I have failed in that God directed purpose. Cry Embarrassed
Right now since my clinical depression illnesses is taking over, any type of critism, intended or not, I have difficulty separating  it from advice or personal rejection and the feeling of uselessness, and worthlessness. Cry Cry Cry Sad
This is exactly how I felt today to the one who tried to advice me today on the use of caps. Rejected. and a complete failure. Huh Embarrassed
ps: there was something else i was going to add about my caps preference use: Emotional moment made me forget. Cry

NOW I REMEMBER  ???CAPS:  I AM NEW THIS COMPUTER WORLD Wink
Under the excuse title:  Wink
I really enter this computer world , internet, emailing on a full time basis since the 1st week of February.
there were prior experiences, with different computers, for example: computerize cash register working as a cashier, working at data entry at my volunteer job as a volunteer amateur report.
Seeking employment at the Job Find Club.  So
as a inexperience computer infant,who is still on the learning and growing stage with in this world, Embarrassed  i  may not have the proper knowledge of the rules , for emailing , computer edict.  Roll Eyes  Along with this and my personal quirks ,it makes a mixture i guess for unintentionly offending someone. Tongue Embarrassed Shocked Undecided

SO ANY ONE THAT I OFFENDED BY USING CAPS.
whether it was through this post, through email, and through my answering your emails. Roll Eyes Embarrassed
I AM SORRY FOR MY OFFENDING, no excuses, IT WAS NOT MY INTENT TO DO SO. Embarrassed Cry Smiley
PLEASE ACCEPT THIS APOLOGY. Kiss Kiss Undecided Roll Eyes

Thank you for listening and goodbye. Cool
( a smiley face with a waving hand) Smiley Kiss

ALL I INTEND TO DO WAS BE OF SOME ENCOURAGEMENT. Embarrassed Embarrassed Cry Roll Eyes Huh


 Shocked ;)GOOD BYE:





« Last Edit: May 15, 2004, 10:04:11 am by LENORE » Logged
Oscar
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« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2004, 10:22:38 am »

Lenore,

You are very welcome on this Bulleting Board.

Write any way you wish to.

God bless,

Thomas Maddux
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Recovering Saint
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Email
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2004, 03:54:25 pm »

Lenore

The welcome  mat is out. Computer etitiquette is sometimes difficult you may stumble into it and find you get it wrong. Criticism is not always negative. In the Assembly it was quite often used to push an agenda or to go ahead of someone and make them look small. But we don't wish to stop you in any way. It is always good to have a dialogue if you sense a problem. We are not perfect but have experienced a lot of abuse and can appreciate your position.

The CAPS thing was started before the Internet even came along and so it is a standard. If you are entering a new country you will find yourself misunderstood a lot because they have different customs. Although you may not wish to offend it happens by accident because of different customs.

So please post and learn as you are here. This can open you to other areas of involvement in the Internet World.

We care about you and you are a precious child of God.

Hugh Grin
« Last Edit: May 14, 2004, 03:56:40 pm by Hugh » Logged
M2
Guest
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2004, 05:45:39 pm »

Lenore,

You are very welcome on this Bulleting Board.

Write any way you wish to.

God bless,

Thomas Maddux


Thomas,

Was this your sub-conscious exposing what you really think of us, or just a slip of the ... ?? Wink

Marcia
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lenore
Guest
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2004, 08:39:46 am »

Lenore

The welcome  mat is out. Computer etitiquette is sometimes difficult you may stumble into it and find you get it wrong. Criticism is not always negative. In the Assembly it was quite often used to push an agenda or to go ahead of someone and make them look small. But we don't wish to stop you in any way. It is always good to have a dialogue if you sense a problem. We are not perfect but have experienced a lot of abuse and can appreciate your position.

The CAPS thing was started before the Internet even came along and so it is a standard. If you are entering a new country you will find yourself misunderstood a lot because they have different customs. Although you may not wish to offend it happens by accident because of different customs.

So please post and learn as you are here. This can open you to other areas of involvement in the Internet World.

We care about you and you are a precious child of God.

Hugh Grin



May 14:11:42 pm:
THANK YOU SO MUCH HUGH, for the encouragement, and for the computer advice. Is this the way, that you were trying to tell me, on how to answer someone.
Am I doing it right.
Thanks for having the patience in teaching this new kid on the block of computers.
Maybe I should call you ComputerSuperman. Grin Grin Grin Wink

May I leave you with a verse:
Isaiah 30:19 NKJV:
For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem:
You shall weep no more.
He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry.
When He hears it.
He will answer you.

I just found this today, in a most vicous battle between my depression and my spirit.
I was afraid for  a time, that the depression was going to win.  I dont know who is going to win, the depression or me. But I am fighting. I may not win every battle. I am fighting. I am relying on GOD PROMISES THAT THE VICTORY IS HIS. All I need to do is hold on to that thread of mine, that is thinning by the minute.
So I dont want to be a downer, I want to be a encourager ,not a complainer on this site.
HUGH IS THERE A TOPIC PLACE , WHERE WE CAN POST PRAYER REQUESTS, PRIVATE(CONFIDENTIAL), OR PUBLIC REQUESTS. I have been looking, but maybe it is hidden somewhere.
If not, could you let  me know.
I would like to POST THIS IDEA, OR SOMEONE ELSE COULD.
A GREAT BIG THANKS YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.You are appreciated.
« Last Edit: May 15, 2004, 10:02:54 am by LENORE » Logged
Recovering Saint
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Email
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2004, 08:08:44 pm »

May 14:11:42 pm:
THANK YOU SO MUCH HUGH, for the encouragement, and for the computer advice. Is this the way, that you were trying to tell me, on how to answer someone.
Am I doing it right.
Thanks for having the patience in teaching this new kid on the block of computers.
Maybe I should call you ComputerSuperman. Grin Grin Grin Wink

May I leave you with a verse:
Isaiah 30:19 NKJV:
For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem:
You shall weep no more.
He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry.
When He hears it.
He will answer you.

I just found this today, in a most vicous battle between my depression and my spirit.
I was afraid for  a time, that the depression was going to win.  I dont know who is going to win, the depression or me. But I am fighting. I may not win every battle. I am fighting. I am relying on GOD PROMISES THAT THE VICTORY IS HIS. All I need to do is hold on to that thread of mine, that is thinning by the minute.
So I dont want to be a downer, I want to be a encourager ,not a complainer on this site.
HUGH IS THERE A TOPIC PLACE , WHERE WE CAN POST PRAYER REQUESTS, PRIVATE(CONFIDENTIAL), OR PUBLIC REQUESTS. I have been looking, but maybe it is hidden somewhere.
If not, could you let  me know.
I would like to POST THIS IDEA, OR SOMEONE ELSE COULD.
A GREAT BIG THANKS YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.You are appreciated.

Lenore

You are doing fine in the compter posting. I might mention one small thing. To code for Bold colour etc. take all the coding out before you paste an article in and highlight the words and use the little toolbar on the top of the post window to add font colour and bold or italic. This gives the desired effect and does not leave extra codes.

About depression. Many have had bouts of depression. I have had periods myself during the Assembly days and after. I know how I have dealt with it was by seeing a realistic view of Christ not the Guilt performance based God of the Assembly. Jesus loves everyone. Jesus cares about everyone. Jesus will not turn away from anyone who is sincerely seeking Him. If He seems far away don't sweat it He never will leave you. He is displeased with sin but we can confess it and forsake it. He is not the cosmic killjoy that many think He is. The problems that many of us face can be dealt by understanding a right understanding of who Jesus is. The Assembly does not teach the Jesus of the Bible but a fabrication of George's stew that keeps people in line. Some depression is medical, other depression is selfish. Please don't get into the deny self Assembly teaching that is garbage. Deny self means go to Jesus and don't dwell on problems. Problems are going to happen in everyones life that is normal and can not be avoided. We are not to put a phony Assembly smile on and grit out teeth but we acknowledge our problems as well as acknowledging His love and greatness. To claim a promise is good BUT we are not to avoid looking at our own part in problems. This takes wisdom from the Lord in prayer and confession. Genuine acceptance can be only truly found from the Lord not some indvidual no matter how Godly they appear. Many seek some mystical special ecstacy this is escapism and is not healthy. Ordinary conversation over a coffee or getting together for lunch is a part of God's healing. True spontaneous fellowship is God's way of healing. Put on Christ, don't put on a fake smile. We here have experienced great grief. We will understand.

On the toolbar search for the word "prayer" and "depression" you will find other posts on this topic.  

Lord bless you
Hugh
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lenore
Guest
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2004, 07:36:19 am »

May 14:11:42 pm:
THANK YOU SO MUCH HUGH, for the encouragement, and for the computer advice. Is this the way, that you were trying to tell me, on how to answer someone.
Am I doing it right.
Thanks for having the patience in teaching this new kid on the block of computers.
Maybe I should call you ComputerSuperman. Grin Grin Grin Wink

May I leave you with a verse:
Isaiah 30:19 NKJV:
For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem:
You shall weep no more.
He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry.
When He hears it.
He will answer you.

I just found this today, in a most vicous battle between my depression and my spirit.
I was afraid for  a time, that the depression was going to win.  I dont know who is going to win, the depression or me. But I am fighting. I may not win every battle. I am fighting. I am relying on GOD PROMISES THAT THE VICTORY IS HIS. All I need to do is hold on to that thread of mine, that is thinning by the minute.
So I dont want to be a downer, I want to be a encourager ,not a complainer on this site.
HUGH IS THERE A TOPIC PLACE , WHERE WE CAN POST PRAYER REQUESTS, PRIVATE(CONFIDENTIAL), OR PUBLIC REQUESTS. I have been looking, but maybe it is hidden somewhere.
If not, could you let  me know.
I would like to POST THIS IDEA, OR SOMEONE ELSE COULD.
A GREAT BIG THANKS YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.You are appreciated.

Lenore

You are doing fine in the compter posting. I might mention one small thing. To code for Bold colour etc. take all the coding out before you paste an article in and highlight the words and use the little toolbar on the top of the post window to add font colour and bold or italic. This gives the desired effect and does not leave extra codes.

About depression. Many have had bouts of depression. I have had periods myself during the Assembly days and after. I know how I have dealt with it was by seeing a realistic view of Christ not the Guilt performance based God of the Assembly. Jesus loves everyone. Jesus cares about everyone. Jesus will not turn away from anyone who is sincerely seeking Him. If He seems far away don't sweat it He never will leave you. He is displeased with sin but we can confess it and forsake it. He is not the cosmic killjoy that many think He is. The problems that many of us face can be dealt by understanding a right understanding of who Jesus is. The Assembly does not teach the Jesus of the Bible but a fabrication of George's stew that keeps people in line. Some depression is medical, other depression is selfish. Please don't get into the deny self Assembly teaching that is garbage. Deny self means go to Jesus and don't dwell on problems. Problems are going to happen in everyones life that is normal and can not be avoided. We are not to put a phony Assembly smile on and grit out teeth but we acknowledge our problems as well as acknowledging His love and greatness. To claim a promise is good BUT we are not to avoid looking at our own part in problems. This takes wisdom from the Lord in prayer and confession. Genuine acceptance can be only truly found from the Lord not some indvidual no matter how Godly they appear. Many seek some mystical special ecstacy this is escapism and is not healthy. Ordinary conversation over a coffee or getting together for lunch is a part of God's healing. True spontaneous fellowship is God's way of healing. Put on Christ, don't put on a fake smile. We here have experienced great grief. We will understand.

On the toolbar search for the word "prayer" and "depression" you will find other posts on this topic.  

Lord bless you
Hugh

THANK you Hugh. I was wondering why those codes were being kept in my text. I just thought they would
disappear once i posted the article.

I am used to if you hit the bold, the letter would be bold, not a code prior or after the word.
I dont want the code, just the effect in my words.
So what button do I press to get rid of the codes, but want the effect of the code again.
You may have to paint a picture for me. Roll Eyes
The two rows of YABBC tags:
first row starts with B ends with redA
second row has an EYE says flash and the end is the bullets.
so I when I press b which is bold i get these. press again the bold effect is gone right.
but those b in brackets are still there.
So how do I get rid of the codes.
Can you help me visualize the button to press so
I can still have the BOLD effect no code.
SORRY HUGH ,  I do want to learn the correct procedure.

AS FOR THE DEPRESSION  side of your advice.
AMEN.
Dont forget depression  especially CLINICAL DEPRESSION is a chemical imbalance, which is only part of the problem.
And the other part is our emotions, our upbringing, our enviroments, our rejections, etc. that make this
battle so hard.
We can know the promises of God, but like I said we are chamelons. We smile yet be crying inside.
THis is also way we were brought up.
It can be also way society treats mental illnesses.
It is a protection mode to be a chamelon, putting on the wall of protection.
I agree everyone has bouts of depression, every one deals with it differently, every cause of it is different.
I WAS TOLD LAST YEAR ,   CRYING...releases the hormones that causes DEPRESSION.
HUGH A HUGE THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP.
MUCH APPRECIATED.

teddy bear hug for you

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« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2004, 04:19:17 pm »

Lenore

Your comments on Depression are correct. The reason we have to bring it to the Lord is because He knows what we are going through and will not turn away from us. The reason we must consider physical is because the body plays tricks on our mind. We can't assume we know why we are depressed we just need to consider both avenues as valid and try by process of elimination to assess the root cause or causes. Is this an allergy, or other chemical imbalance or a memory from my past or the enemy or sin that is not confessed and forsaken. After we go through that we may still not know the answer but God does and we must remember He loves us more than we or others can and wants the best for us ALWAYS. Dwelling on the problem is not going to make it go away. But by bringing it in prayer to the Lord and if it is a health thing to a doctor will be a positive way to minimize it.

Often the best treatment is a kind listening ear from someone who understands. We often come to the right conclusion when we open up and hear ourselves talk it out.

Many here are suffering the long term affects of abuse and need to express their emotions even anger to be able to have a sounding board. We know that others here may have gone through similar situations and can help us think and pray it through. If it does not come out because as the Assembly encouraged if it is not nice don't say it then it is bottled up and it will eventually come out. Here we hope is a good place to express what happened to us and how it affected us and others around us. This is part of healing. And for those who say get on with your life. This is part of getting on with life. It is a grieving process and is very therapeutic.

About codes when you highlight the word to make it bold it puts codes like this on the word in the editing window only.bold To see the results click on preview before you post and wait for it to show you what it looks like. The editing window stays below until you are finished and can post. To know what the buttons do hover over the button slowly and a little yellow tag will appear over each one to say what it does.

Lord bless you and keep you
Hugh Grin
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lenore
Guest
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2004, 10:14:30 am »

Lenore

Your comments on Depression are correct. The reason we have to bring it to the Lord is because He knows what we are going through and will not turn away from us. The reason we must consider physical is because the body plays tricks on our mind. We can't assume we know why we are depressed we just need to consider both avenues as valid and try by process of elimination to assess the root cause or causes. Is this an allergy, or other chemical imbalance or a memory from my past or the enemy or sin that is not confessed and forsaken. After we go through that we may still not know the answer but God does and we must remember He loves us more than we or others can and wants the best for us ALWAYS. Dwelling on the problem is not going to make it go away. But by bringing it in prayer to the Lord and if it is a health thing to a doctor will be a positive way to minimize it.

Often the best treatment is a kind listening ear from someone who understands. We often come to the right conclusion when we open up and hear ourselves talk it out.

Many here are suffering the long term affects of abuse and need to express their emotions even anger to be able to have a sounding board. We know that others here may have gone through similar situations and can help us think and pray it through. If it does not come out because as the Assembly encouraged if it is not nice don't say it then it is bottled up and it will eventually come out. Here we hope is a good place to express what happened to us and how it affected us and others around us. This is part of healing. And for those who say get on with your life. This is part of getting on with life. It is a grieving process and is very therapeutic.

About codes when you highlight the word to make it bold it puts codes like this on the word in the editing window only.bold To see the results click on preview before you post and wait for it to show you what it looks like. The editing window stays below until you are finished and can post. To know what the buttons do hover over the button slowly and a little yellow tag will appear over each one to say what it does.

Lord bless you and keep you
Hugh Grin


 Roll Eyes

WEDNESDAY 1:10 AM EST.

THANK YOU HUGH FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT, YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. I WONT TELL YOU BECAUSE I WILL ROB YOU OF YOUR REWARD IN HEAVEN?Huh
Sunday Night: I spent an evening with a spiritual mentor, a dear sister in the Lord. Because my Spiritual Damage has occurred back right from Childhood, and been reinforced over and over, and I have believe the lies of the devil, that help reinforced the feelings of worthiness.
Her name is Lois: my daughter Sara is staying with her. I trust her , I dont always agree with her , I trust her.
She has walked me through  my breakdown from December 27, 2002. I'll tell you about that some time.
It is at times still too painful even for me to understand what really happen.
Lois helped Sunday Night to walk through three steps of Spiritual Healing Prayers.
Each areas of prayers has several related issues that deal with certain issues of sins, my own and or others.
I really dont quite understand it yet, but I trust Lois.
One set was on addictions,  because I am a child of an
alcoholic, I prayed for forgiveness for my fathers drinking and the consequences have suffered from it, and  my reactions to it.
There are about 5-10 categories , such as food, tv watching, internet, any form of addiction, that  I or someone else's sin, that have affected me.
The next prayer session was, a series on mental illnesses.  which included depression, suicide, etc.
I did three series of prayers for Spiritual Healing.
There are about 20 categories, some are intertwined.
Sunday Night I was at more peace than I had in years.
But there are still scorpions ready to sting me.
There tails are wiggling and ready to strike.
Yesterday , I was reminded by one that I have a long way to go. Even today, I had a hard time with the emotion of anger. No one to vent to, except maybe the dog, every time she got in my road, when I am trying to go up and down the stairs with an armload of laundry.  Shocked Roll Eyes
Lois keeps saying my voice is more calmer, than it has been.  I am taking this time assess, and let the forgiveness of God pour into every cell of my body.
Biggest area is to accept that I have been deemed worthy of forgiveness, and that it is okay to forgive myself.
I deal with the buttons later.
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