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Author Topic: Assembly Clichés  (Read 26972 times)
shinchy
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« on: July 27, 2004, 04:48:35 am »

Have you ever known anyone who just spoke in a string of Assembly clichés? While they were speaking, it all sounded good, but they really said nothing? Are you rejoicing? Have you put it at the cross? Feel free to donate those tired metaphors here.
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al Hartman
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« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2004, 05:34:20 am »




Shin,

     There was a great collection of "assemblyisms" on the old "Rest For the Weary" BB.  Maybe if you request it, Arthur can send them to you or post them here...

al


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matthew r. sciaini
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« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2004, 06:47:50 am »

Shin and Al:

disclaimer:  this is a weaving of phrases and anecdotes that I have heard from George Geftakys over the years at his various preaching times:

Now, brethren, you need to repent.  We have never been this way before.  Apparently you've lost your vision.
You need to pray the selfer's prayer before we can talk again.  After all, your actions speak so loudly that I can't hear a word you are saying.

Come on, brethren, do the will of God, or you'll miss out on the inheritance and be standing in the outer darkness.  The Lord knows those who are His, after all.
You know what your problem is?  You're carnal!!! That is why you don't understand this deep teaching, this true spiritual meat---you are but babes in the deep things of God.  

Hallelujah!  I SAID HALLELUJAH!!!!  Where are the "amens"?!  We are the 'amen people', so let's act like it!   Are you rejoicing?   I SAID ARE YOU REJOICING?!!!   Then let your face know it!!!  

Brethren, I have a special burden on my heart.  I got it straight from the throne while on my knees at 3:00 this morning.  I can do that because God gives me messages.
I have preached on EVERY verse in the Bible.   Even when I was so low that I had to stand on tiptoes to touch bottom,  God gave me light.  

Brethren, I want to say something.  Some of you in this meeting are worldly.  That includes some of you workers. You're losing your vision.  You want to compromise with your children, with the meetings.  You don't value the Lord's house, and you even think you are my peers.  Ha!  I HAVE NO PEERS!     I'm old enough to be your father, if not grandfather to some of you.  You can't replace me!  You can't fire me because I'm not a porkchop preacher.    I want all of you brethren to hear this:  YOU'RE NOT IN FELLOWSHIP UNLESS YOU COME ALL DAY SUNDAYS, WEDNESDAY NIGHTS, THURSDAY NIGHTS!!!!!!!!   Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

I'm 76 years old, but I'm not winding down, I'm merely winding up.  Isn't that awful....AWFUL WONDERFUL!!!!
Some of you people are still sound asleep...when are you going to wake up?  If I was in Africa or in China preaching what I am preaching here the people would be shouting, weeping and repenting in the aisles.  The problem with you Americans is that you have so much.  And I must tell you, most of you Americans have no idea about history or the world.  But I (emphasis here) grew up in a European home, and I learned who I was.  I didn't want to bring shame to the family name.  Our names meant things to us, unlike the American pioneers who just named their children whatever happened to come to mind.  

All of my life I have been a man of heavy responsibility.  I pastored a boulevard church at 22 years of age.  But I saw all of you in my dreams.   Most of you came from good heathen backgrounds.  When I found you you didn't know your right hand from your left.  Your parents didn't teach you anything.  But you've been sitting under the ministry, and you have caught the vision, and God has illumined you.  

........(disclaimer)  I am about ready to break down laughing, and I'm in the library, so I must be careful.  I can laugh about this now,  because when I look back I see that George Geftakys and most of us were so full of unadulterated and unjustifiable bullcrap that it is surprising that so many people came to the seminars for so long.  Many were the times when I was so frustrated in the seminars because my heart and inner man were not responding with joy to the "messages" from George Geftakys.  Eventually I did not even ask for prayer regarding anything I heard from him, because nothing really spoke to me, except that I saw that this dude was starting to go off the deep end.

One thing that really used to amaze me...how people could smile and even appear to be full of joy when he would say some of the whoppers that he said.

Sorry I've gotten off topic, but here is my contribution.

Matt Sciaini



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al Hartman
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« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2004, 10:00:55 am »



Matt,

     Brother, you said a mouthful!  I'm having migraine-grade flashbacks-- about 9.5 on the richter scale!

     You might want to be a little less crude in future references to the male bovine fecal matter we were all full of-- we are, after all, the Lord's peculiar people.  God is making silk purses out of sows' ears...

al


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M2
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« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2004, 06:11:28 pm »

....When I found you you didn't know your right hand from your left.  Your parents didn't teach you anything.  But you've been sitting under the ministry, and you have caught the vision, and [nothing]...

He was right about this.  Most of us did not know our right hand from our left re. Christianity.  Most of us were brought up by unbelievers, or in homes where we experienced a hypocritical Christianity, so were were fresh gound for the Geftakys assembly system.  And we learned another hypocrisy:
One thing that really used to amaze me...how people could smile and even appear to be full of joy when he would say some of the whoppers that he said.



You know what a rut is, it's a grave with both ends dug out.
It's what you learn after you know it all that really counts.
You don't want to leave your change on the counter, now do you?
You want it all don't you?  And all the lively ones said "Amen!".
I wonder how he would have reacted if we had piped up and said what we were really thinking, "Noooooo!!!" in a groaning voice.

Marcia
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outdeep
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« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2004, 09:28:07 pm »

How about, "it's better to burn out than rust out"?

Frankly, I would rather not do either.
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shinchy
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« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2004, 10:51:09 pm »

Shin and Al:

disclaimer:  this is a weaving of phrases and anecdotes that I have heard from George Geftakys over the years at his various preaching times:

Now, brethren, you need to repent.  We have never been this way before.  Apparently you've lost your vision.
You need to pray the selfer's prayer before we can talk again.  After all, your actions speak so loudly that I can't hear a word you are saying.

Come on, brethren, do the will of God, or you'll miss out on the inheritance and be standing in the outer darkness.  The Lord knows those who are His, after all.
You know what your problem is?  You're carnal!!! That is why you don't understand this deep teaching, this true spiritual meat---you are but babes in the deep things of God.  

Hallelujah!  I SAID HALLELUJAH!!!!  Where are the "amens"?!  We are the 'amen people', so let's act like it!   Are you rejoicing?   I SAID ARE YOU REJOICING?!!!   Then let your face know it!!!  

Brethren, I have a special burden on my heart.  I got it straight from the throne while on my knees at 3:00 this morning.  I can do that because God gives me messages.
I have preached on EVERY verse in the Bible.   Even when I was so low that I had to stand on tiptoes to touch bottom,  God gave me light.  

Brethren, I want to say something.  Some of you in this meeting are worldly.  That includes some of you workers. You're losing your vision.  You want to compromise with your children, with the meetings.  You don't value the Lord's house, and you even think you are my peers.  Ha!  I HAVE NO PEERS!     I'm old enough to be your father, if not grandfather to some of you.  You can't replace me!  You can't fire me because I'm not a porkchop preacher.    I want all of you brethren to hear this:  YOU'RE NOT IN FELLOWSHIP UNLESS YOU COME ALL DAY SUNDAYS, WEDNESDAY NIGHTS, THURSDAY NIGHTS!!!!!!!!   Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

I'm 76 years old, but I'm not winding down, I'm merely winding up.  Isn't that awful....AWFUL WONDERFUL!!!!
Some of you people are still sound asleep...when are you going to wake up?  If I was in Africa or in China preaching what I am preaching here the people would be shouting, weeping and repenting in the aisles.  The problem with you Americans is that you have so much.  And I must tell you, most of you Americans have no idea about history or the world.  But I (emphasis here) grew up in a European home, and I learned who I was.  I didn't want to bring shame to the family name.  Our names meant things to us, unlike the American pioneers who just named their children whatever happened to come to mind.  

All of my life I have been a man of heavy responsibility.  I pastored a boulevard church at 22 years of age.  But I saw all of you in my dreams.   Most of you came from good heathen backgrounds.  When I found you you didn't know your right hand from your left.  Your parents didn't teach you anything.  But you've been sitting under the ministry, and you have caught the vision, and God has illumined you.  

........(disclaimer)  I am about ready to break down laughing, and I'm in the library, so I must be careful.  I can laugh about this now,  because when I look back I see that George Geftakys and most of us were so full of unadulterated and unjustifiable bullcrap that it is surprising that so many people came to the seminars for so long.  Many were the times when I was so frustrated in the seminars because my heart and inner man were not responding with joy to the "messages" from George Geftakys.  Eventually I did not even ask for prayer regarding anything I heard from him, because nothing really spoke to me, except that I saw that this dude was starting to go off the deep end.

One thing that really used to amaze me...how people could smile and even appear to be full of joy when he would say some of the whoppers that he said.

Sorry I've gotten off topic, but here is my contribution.

Matt Sciaini





GG was the creator of many of the clichés Assembly people used, so it's very on topic. They were quite funny in this context. I couldn't get over this one:

"I got it straight from the throne while on my knees at 3:00 this morning."

It sounds so wrong yet people hearing GG say that would say, "Praise the Lord."
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al Hartman
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« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2004, 12:27:18 am »




How about, "it's better to burn out than rust out"?

Frankly, I would rather not do either.


Dave,

     Having now behind me some intimate knowledge of both experiences Tongue,
I tend to agree with you...

al Wink


« Last Edit: July 28, 2004, 12:30:11 am by al Hartman » Logged
Jem
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« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2004, 05:21:24 am »

Funniest line in Lion King 1 1/2 is when Rafiki goes all philosophical and uses one of George's favorite cliches, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Then Timon says he needs to quit reading fortune cookies.

Mo Rocca said on Vh1, "Being in a cult is like bungee jumping--you have to do it once in your life. You just haven't lived until you and 15 other people on the planet think they have all the truth."
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Recovering Saint
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« Reply #9 on: July 28, 2004, 05:25:52 am »

It's not how you begin the race. It's how you finish the race that counts.

Royal Overcomers..

Heavenly Footmen..

Heavenly Breezes..

I was raised in dance halls...

We never had a bible in our house...

I am just a brother among brothers...

Oh the shame of it if I call on you to read and you're not paying attention...

There have been scoundrels in our midst who liked to imitate the way I take my glasses off and on...

I have no bank account...

What has the Lord shown you brother?

When I go to the dear saints house no matter what is served I just say "Excellent".

The saints in Greece are so worldly.

Europe is the dark continent now.

We never take a public offering.

The Lord provides for the work.

The offering is for the work of the Lord both here and abroad.

And all the lively saints said PRAISE THE LORD!

When I die I am going to need much mercy...

Sayings I remember.
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shinchy
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« Reply #10 on: July 28, 2004, 06:26:25 am »

The heavenly vision

The inheritance

Incorruptible blood (GG theology from seminars)

Satanic! (GG's endorsement of emminent literary critic Harold Bloom)

My odd collage piece where someone has a heavenly vision of clocks:
http://www-rohan.sdsu.edu/~evanss/Art/horloge.jpg
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summer007
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« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2004, 08:25:49 pm »

How about .."Its in the Book, not on my face"...GG must of been amazed everyday at his following!! He knew eventually he'd be found out. Re: his prophecy that all/ or most would forsake him. you have to remember he was very Charismatic and a Gifted speaker...How about.."when I got off the plane here I thought I'd landed in Disneyland..my indulgent American friends"...many were under his Spell...its got to be easier for people who were Christians prior to joining up with the Assm...It would then just be one of the many dangers, toils and snares and easier to see through...Then again a Great relief to know God is'nt this Task-Master...Gestapo type he was made out to be.
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shinchy
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« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2004, 11:41:56 pm »

One leading brother in San Diego often quoted this as Scripture:
"Neither a borrower nor lender be. . ."

This it not from the Bible but Shakespeare: Hamlet I.iii.75

It must have come from GG's mouth and filtered down to him.
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summer007
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« Reply #13 on: July 31, 2004, 12:05:29 am »

Oh yeah he really knew his bible well...You shall lend to many and not borrow...and give to him who asks of thee from matthew and what about the Hebrews borrowing  jewels from the Egyptians..thus plundering the Egyptians. BTW...Mercedes is fine for the Gold Lady, but I'd give her a driver in a Rolls and really go in Style!!!
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shinchy
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« Reply #14 on: July 31, 2004, 12:29:08 am »

Oh yeah he really knew his bible well...You shall lend to many and not borrow...and give to him who asks of thee from matthew and what about the Hebrews borrowing  jewels from the Egyptians..thus plundering the Egyptians. BTW...Mercedes is fine for the Gold Lady, but I'd give her a driver in a Rolls and really go in Style!!!

I'm glad you like the Gold Lady. That sounds like an excellent idea, giving her a Rolls. I'll have to give her a few more cars, an Astin Martin, some diamonds, go bling bling all the way.

I have a lot more done than is on the website on this body of work but it isn't too late to add anything. The situation my narrator is in and the things that happen isn't pretty but I probably wouldn't have written this stuff if it wasn't for the messed up things in my lfe. The strange things in life gives interesting material.

There were some earlier posts by someone named Delia who beautifully wrote  a fictitious story based on her her experiences in the Assembly. Is this the same person as Delila? If so, I'd love to see it again. Is it on a website, or better yet, is it in print?
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