Tell me this: why does no one ever talk about the fact that 50% of Christinas are divorved, and almost 80% of the divorced are re-married? If we are going to condemn the homosexuals for their "lifestyle choice sins" then we need to condemn the Christians for theirs! The point is: condemning a particular segment of the population isn't going to bring them to Christ!
Don't get Me started...
That is a good question as it is often brought up. Or, put a slightly different way, why does homosexuality (and abortion) seem to be the top sins that we take strong stances against while others seem to be mildly tolerated?
I thought much about this and here is the best I can come up with. I am answering in terms of what is happening, not necessarily what should be happening.
First, there is much more ambiguity concerning divorce. The Bible seems to allow it in some cases. So there is different opinions among Christians as to how it should be looked at. There is no possible way you can get around the strong language prohibiting homosexuality without denying that these Scripture have literal validity for today (which, by the way, is what homosexual theologians do).
Second, I think the church has tripped over itself in attempting to help the family - so much so that "Christianity" and "family values" have almost become synonymous terms in some thinking. I haven't been in a post-Assembly church where there havent been seminars on marriage, counseling by the pastor, marriage retreats and troubled marriages referred to Christian counselors.
Third - and I think this is the crux of the matter - there is a certain amount of brazenness about homosexuality that I think has caused such a strong reaction in the church. Those who get a divorce often come to the church saying, "Yeah, we really blew it and I know it was wrong, but could you help me out here?" The church doesn't have a big problem with those who sin and admit what they did was sin.
Homosexuals come to the church much differently. They usually come with a mindset, "Homosexual is what I am. It is not sin. Therefore you need to accept me on these terms." Now the Christian and the homosexual is going toe-to-toe. If the homosexual admits that his actions are sinful, he is denying, in his mind, his very personhood. He would have to abandon the very justification for his lifestyle as well as the lifestyle itself.
On the other hand, if the Christian were to say, "all right, don't worry about it. Come on in and join our church just as you are," he would feel he is rendering the very book upon which he bases his whole world-view as irrelevant. As
Fiddler on the Roof's Tevia said after he accommodated his first two daughter's unorthodox weddings and was faced with his third daughter marrying a Gentile, "If I bend any more, I'll break!" I think this is how the church feels with the homosexual issue.
Fourth (and this is probably an extension to my third point) there is a very real sense that outspoken homosexuals and homosexual leaders are antagonistic towards the church. It feels as if they pose a real threat. Homosexuals would probably argue that the church is the instigator of the conflict in that we are rejecting them. However, the church would argue that their desire to be part of the church is disingenuous in that they are merely seeking to take control and change the church to accommodate them or (failing that) to destroy it - a tactic they seem to be employing with the Boy Scouts.
I really dislike the "cultural war" motif. But, if there is anywhere that it applies, I would think that this is probably it. It explains why the church reacts stronger to the homosexual issue. While disentegrating families are indeed hurting the church, it doesn't feel like a "frontal assalt" in the same way that the gay movement presents. (Or looking at it another way, divorsed people don't organize and attempt to push their values on established institutions, but gay people do.)
Now the question: Is the conflict so broad and the gap so large that the only way the church and homosexuals can get along is to fight to the death? Or is there a way that we Christians can reach this "un-reached people group"? In the meantime, do we let them into our small groups and churches? What if they want to be involved in ministry? In the Lord's Supper? In leadership?
I think I have been able to understand the question, but I have yet to have an answer that I feel good about.