Just Curious...

[lenore]

 :)March 9th.

I read through all the postings here.

I have observed a few things.
1. the wounds of betrayal scars of assemblyist inflictions are still wide open.
2. insecurities are showing its fangs.
3. all trying to say the same thing
4. still trying to find your way, on this Christian journey.
5. still looking for answers
6. all are behind emotions
7. and God isnt a weapon.

Am I off the mark here???

There is another factor here that can be in play. The factor of mental illnesses as well as a spiritual illness.  Sometimes we use God as a shield, and not in the way God has intended us to use him.  We can spout off Bible verses, and doctrine, to cover up our insecurities about God in our lives. Quite often it is not intentional. It is away, to say, hey, I am here, I need help and encouragement too.
Or I can be off the mark, and it could be HEY< LOOK AT ME, I WANT ATTENTION.

We all need to be refreshed spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically.
I thought this web site was a site where we can say what we need to say, with out fear of being attacked.  AM I WRONG IN THIS ASSESSMENT!!!!!!!!???

As for me, a light mood of calling some one OUT OF CONTROL POSTER, is a mood lightening and should be taken as such. I can understand the spiritual aspects of it. As a Christian we shouldnt be out of control in anything. But we are. There are many areas that are so out of control in my life. YOU SHOULD LOOK AT MY HOUSE!!!. Isnt that what a depended life in God is for, To get ourselves under control.  To me to be called an OUT OF CONTROL POSTER would be a compliment. Because my it is a reflection of my writings and contributions to this web site.

To always look at the negative, which I am learning slowly, how not to do. Instead look at the positive aspect of it.  I am a negative person, I can think negatively, I can speak negatively and when I get angry, I can react negatively by attacking. I am that way, Reason is hurts I have received and the upbringing in the negative has been rebirth in my character. It is a reason, but it is not an excuse for my behaviour. How I deal with it now is the question that needs to be dealt with? Am I learning from it? Yes, slowly with many stumbles along the way?

Maybe my answers are boring too, and not worth the eye exercises to read them. I am trying to bring understanding if I am successful at it or not. I dont know!

Al: I understand where the question came from.
I can understand where you are coming from.

Just laugh at yourself once in a while can help lift the heart.

God created laughter and merrymaking too.

Remember the Bible said what you bound on earth, you bound in Heaven.
Well I believe I will be making the coffee for the Banquet in Heaven, reason why, I have said this before. Is that every organization I got to , I ultimately end up making the coffee for the groups. I have notice this for the last 15 years.
So I say since I make so much coffee on earth in service for my church here on earth. I will be making coffee for my heavenly church fellowship for the wedding banquet.
 

 :DHave a wonderful GIDDAY

LENORE

[Joe Sperling]

Lenore---

Thanks for your post. I have to admit, I always took the "out of control" poster thing
in a humorous way also. I'd always think of Dana Carvey, immitating Regis Philbin, and
saying "You're all OUT OF CONTROL".(you'd have to have seen him do the impression,
but it was quite funny).

--Joe

[vernecarty]

:)March 9th.

I read through all the postings here.

I have observed a few things.
1. the wounds of betrayal scars of assemblyist inflictions are still wide open.
2. insecurities are showing its fangs.
3. all trying to say the same thing
4. still trying to find your way, on this Christian journey.
5. still looking for answers
6. all are behind emotions
7. and God isnt a weapon.

Am I off the mark here???

There is another factor here that can be in play. The factor of mental illnesses as well as a spiritual illness.  Sometimes we use God as a shield, and not in the way God has intended us to use him.  We can spout off Bible verses, and doctrine, to cover up our insecurities about God in our lives. Quite often it is not intentional. It is away, to say, hey, I am here, I need help and encouragement too.
Or I can be off the mark, and it could be HEY< LOOK AT ME, I WANT ATTENTION.

We all need to be refreshed spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically.
I thought this web site was a site where we can say what we need to say, with out fear of being attacked.  AM I WRONG IN THIS ASSESSMENT!!!!!!!!???

As for me, a light mood of calling some one OUT OF CONTROL POSTER, is a mood lightening and should be taken as such. I can understand the spiritual aspects of it. As a Christian we shouldnt be out of control in anything. But we are. There are many areas that are so out of control in my life. YOU SHOULD LOOK AT MY HOUSE!!!. Isnt that what a depended life in God is for, To get ourselves under control.  To me to be called an OUT OF CONTROL POSTER would be a compliment. Because my it is a reflection of my writings and contributions to this web site.

To always look at the negative, which I am learning slowly, how not to do. Instead look at the positive aspect of it.  I am a negative person, I can think negatively, I can speak negatively and when I get angry, I can react negatively by attacking. I am that way, Reason is hurts I have received and the upbringing in the negative has been rebirth in my character. It is a reason, but it is not an excuse for my behaviour. How I deal with it now is the question that needs to be dealt with? Am I learning from it? Yes, slowly with many stumbles along the way?

Maybe my answers are boring too, and not worth the eye exercises to read them. I am trying to bring understanding if I am successful at it or not. I dont know!

Al: I understand where the question came from.
I can understand where you are coming from.

Just laugh at yourself once in a while can help lift the heart.

God created laughter and merrymaking too.

Remember the Bible said what you bound on earth, you bound in Heaven.
Well I believe I will be making the coffee for the Banquet in Heaven, reason why, I have said this before. Is that every organization I got to , I ultimately end up making the coffee for the groups. I have notice this for the last 15 years.
So I say since I make so much coffee on earth in service for my church here on earth. I will be making coffee for my heavenly church fellowship for the wedding banquet.
 

 :DHave a wonderful GIDDAY

LENORE

I appreciate your perspective.
I am also quickly coming to the conclusion that sin in all its forms is essentially abnormality.
I believe part of the wonder of salvation is that God wants to make us whole, normal human beings.
We often have difficulty distinguishing these two states, and brethren with wisdom and Godly grace are invaluable.
Beware folk who by their conduct display the worst kind of abnormality - no abillity to distinguish the two!
Verne

p.s. I got upset with my eight-year-old last night when I realized that she had used up all my printer paper for her artwork. She explained that she did not use the computer paper I brought from work because it had printing on one side! 
 I looked at her smiling face this morning and it was clear to me that while it may have been necessary to correct her on which stack of paper was available for her use, getting upset about what happened was abnormal and petty. I felt an apology was in order...

[editor]

I probably would have tried to convey this message witha bit more delicacy (I would not have called you an idiot for example) but sometimes that approach is futile.

When Al first had the idea about changing "Out of Control Poster,"  I answered him thus:

My personal opinion on it is that "out of control Poster" keep us from taking ourselves too seriously.  Afterall, a strong case could be made that we spend too much time here....

Personally, I am against editing/deleting, in all but the most extreme cases.  I trust Tom and Mark to know when that may be.

I could care less about my image.  People who are concerned about their image bore me, frankly.  I like a person who isn't afraid to have ideas, state them, and act upon them.  I know who I am, and if others have a wrong idea, so be it.

I hinted around that Al should just lighten up on it, and not be so concerned about image.  I was speaking in the general sense, and made a reference that it isn't good to be so concerned about image, etc.  Most people would have said,  "Yeah, OK I see where you are coming from.  If you don't think it's a big deal, I won't get too upset over it."  Al, however, saw an opportunity to "stand for the Gospel of Our Lord Jesus Christ, delivered once for all the saints."

His response was a "I'm concerned about the image of our Lord Jesus Christ....".  At that point I decided to stop tip-toeing around and get to the meat of the matter.

I tried delicacy, by implying that it added a light-hearted twist to what we do here, and implied that perhaps we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously, etc.  However, when the response was sanctimonious God talk, I decided that I was tired of listening to a Saturday Night Live skit caricaturizing a Christian.  I had enough and was going to say something. 

I didn't like this sort of talk, even when I was in the Assembly and I was surrounded by it.  Even then I thought it was phoney posturing.

Brent

[sfortescue]

Stephen---

I may have mentioned this before, but the morning Doug Large broke his alarm clock for going off 15 minutes early was my first morning waking up in Al's house. I had moved in at about 10:00 P.M. the night before, feeling it was "now or never"(you know, one of those emotional "better do it now because the chance may never come your way again" type of things).

I awoke to the sound of Doug smashing his alarm clock, and immediately thought, "what have I gotten myself into?" I clearly remember you saying Stephen, "Doug, get your heart right with the Lord", which seemed to calm him down. But it truly was a very unusual first day in the house.

--Joe

I'm pretty sure that those were not the exact words that I used.  Being an introvert and a timid, fearful person, I wouldn't have used such a leader-like phrase.  What I said to him was more like entreaty and pleading, and there was some arguing back and forth between us.  This may seem strange, but I was rather short-sighted in that situation since my immediate concern was to get Doug to calm down so that he wouldn't break his alarm clock.  I was too late for that.  It had already been broken by its first high-speed impact with the ground.  I perceived his behavior as being self-destructive.  Breaking his clock meant that he would have to buy another one, and that was wasteful.

I was also short-sighted in my treatment of Pete L.  My concern there was for his alarm clock to be shut off.  I didn't want to shut it off myself, since then it would have been my fault that he was late getting to work.  Waking him up so that he would shut off his own alarm meant that it was his own fault if he was late.  Throwing the blanket at him was something that I had to do every morning.  I hope that he's not angry with me for that.

Of course, if I wasn't so short-sighted, I would have left the group earlier, and I wouldn't have let my health get run down to the point of catching pneumonia.

[Joe Sperling]

Stephen---

You're right, you would know better what you said after he sent the clock sailing
through the air(My, how time flies doesn't it?--silly joke). I just remember your saying
something to him concerning the Lord and it calmed him down right away. We all had
our times of frustration.

I remember once, I was trying to get to sleep, and Dan Ryan, one of my roomates at
the time,(I lived with Tom at this point),
 had his lamp on and was doing homework or something. I kept clearing my
throat, as a hint that I was awake and HE was responsible for it. My frustration and
anger built. But instead of simply saying "Hey Dan, you going to be much longer? I really
need to get some sleep", I grabbed my pillow, and said "Geez!!! I can't believe this!"
and opened the sliding door and went and laid on the lawn in the backyard.

He used to mention it at times later, and we would laugh about it whole-heartedly. It's
amazing all the silly things I know I did back then.

--Joe

[al Hartman]

Al,

People do tend to stay away after receiving a letter that says, "Please don't visit me or contact me".

Tom

     Earlier, I said that I am being as honest with you all as I am with myself.  I stand by that.  I honestly didn't remember sending such a letter (to be read to the assy?, LBs?, workers?), but I have no reason to doubt Tom's word, and it sounds absolutely like something I would have done at that time.  It that light, I hope you will all accept my apology for everything that I have posted which has pointed blame for my being shunned toward anyone other than myself.
    Now I have asked you to be direct with me, and many of you have responded.  I am grateful.  You may doubt my sincerity if you wish.  There has been nothing said on this thread, by any of us, which I regret.  As Marcia has pointed out, the departure from my original post has been good.  If my thinking, posting and general outlook and demeanor has been harmful for this board and/or anyone else, it certainly needed to be addressed.  How can I object to that?  I want to get straightened out.  Why anyone would not want to be corrected is serious stuff.
    Lenore, I appreciate your bringing up the mental/emotional illness aspect, which I tend to discount without due consideration.  It has been a lifelong factor-- no reason to think it may not rear up at any time.
    Verne, thanks for the reminder about being vs not being ignored.

     I believe the things you quoted me as having said about you were said in a private communication-- I only mention this in case someone has decided to try to find them in a past post.  As I have told you and others, unless I specify a request for privacy, all my EMs and PMs may be made public at the recipient's discretion, as was this case.

     I also want to answer your question by stating that I cannot conceive of a life centered upon Christ and anything.  I believe that my proper relationship with the saints, the lost, my family, my community can only come as the result of my maintaining a proper relationship with Christ.  Admittedly, I have never attained to this perfectly, nor do I expect to, but it seems to me the best possible way to live:  Christ first in every consideration, & all else proceeding from there.  Fanatic?  You tell me...
    To all who have engaged in this conversation, my thanks, because I believe that every one of you has a heart for the Lord and, because of that, cares about me, too.  Please don't stop addressing, criticizing, correcting, cajoling, ridiculing, and especially praying for me (except Brent, of course, who is excused from prayer ).  Everything that has been said to me and about me will be studied, prayed about, reconsidered, and acted upon as best I understand.  If I have questions, I intend to ask them, either publicly or privately, just as I did in starting this thread.  To my shame, I confess that I wasn't "Just Curious," as I implied.  You have shown me that I was being a religious prig.

     While it has occurred to me that this experience provides an excellent opportunity for me to depart from this board, I have considered it and I think that it would be a mistake and an excuse.  I do not post this to engender your replies.  I have been helped greatly here, and will seek to continue to gain from reading here.  As for posting, I will continue to do so as seems proper to me, both seriously and humorously (except in Canada, where it will be humourously, eh?), but I will try my durndest to drop the sanctimonious "Church Lady" act & to severely limit my pontifications.

In Christ,
al

[editor]

To my shame, I confess that I wasn't "Just Curious," as I implied.  You have shown me that I was being a religious prig.

It takes a strong person to say something like this Al.  We've all done the same and worse.  I admire you for 'fessing up.  No one here dislikes you, including me. 

You can use the bovine phrase if you wish. 

Brent

[M2]

Thus ends another episode in the continuing drama on AB.
Good night John-boy!   

For real, blessings to you Al, and hope we can all continue to learn together on AB.

Marcia

P.S.

Re. the letter that Al sent, is it possible that it was assembly propoganda to keep people from contacting Al.  Maybe Tom actually saw the letter, in which case I sit corrected.

Marcia

[lenore]

 :DMarch 9th:

Good Evening Al.

In this post you seemed to gone through the washer, then through the wringer, then hung out to dry. Sun bleached.  Now come out sweet and  smelling like a Rose.

All for asking about the" OUT OF CONTROL POSTER".

JUST WONDERING IF YOU WILL DO THAT AGAIN

It good to bear one soul now and then that way there are no dark corners that is being neatly tuck away from sight . .

Well the Bible did say that the light will shine through the darkness .

Al your contributions here, well it wouldnt be the same with out you. .

Now that I have had my fun.  I hope you are feeling more up lifted & encouraged.

Take Care Now

Does anyone else needs a through cleaning out, because I am sure there are ones that can help do the spiritual laundry.   

GIDDAY

LENORE

[al Hartman]

You can use the bovine phrase if you wish. 

Brent

Thanks, Brent.  That's all I really wanted...

Posted on: Today at 05:49:03 PMPosted by: Marcia 
Re. the letter that Al sent, is it possible that it was assembly propoganda to keep people from contacting Al.  Maybe Tom actually saw the letter, in which case I sit corrected.

Marcia, I think the letter must have come from me.  I can understand why you might suspect otherwise, but if I'm not mistaken, Cathy & our kids were still attending meetings, so a forgery probably wouldn't have flown.

Posted on: Today at 06:49:24 PMPosted by: LENORE 
All for asking about the" OUT OF CONTROL POSTER".

JUST WONDERING IF YOU WILL DO THAT AGAIN   

HA! Good one, Lenore!  (And people say I have a good sense of humor!

Blessings in Christ,
al

[sfortescue]

Stephen---

You're right, you would know better what you said after he sent the clock sailing
through the air(My, how time flies doesn't it?--silly joke). I just remember your saying
something to him concerning the Lord and it calmed him down right away. We all had
our times of frustration.

...

--Joe

People sometimes say that time flies like an arrow.

What we learned is that time can also fly like an alarm clock going off 15 minutes too early.

[M2]

:DMarch 9th:

Good Evening Al.

In this post you seemed to gone through the washer, then through the wringer, then hung out to dry. Sun bleached.  Now come out sweet and  smelling like a Rose.

All for asking about the" OUT OF CONTROL POSTER".

JUST WONDERING IF YOU WILL DO THAT AGAIN

It good to bear one soul now and then that way there are no dark corners that is being neatly tuck away from sight . .

Well the Bible did say that the light will shine through the darkness .

Al your contributions here, well it wouldnt be the same with out you. .

Now that I have had my fun.  I hope you are feeling more up lifted & encouraged.

Take Care Now

Does anyone else needs a through cleaning out, because I am sure there are ones that can help do the spiritual laundry.   

GIDDAY

LENORE

Do you like the new cleaner leaner Al ??

Are you volunteering to be next Lenore? 

Marcia

[moonflower2]

Thus ends another episode in the continuing drama on AB.
Good night John-boy!   

Good night Jim-bob! 

[al Hartman]

People sometimes say that time flies like an arrow.

What we learned is that time can also fly like an alarm clock going off 15 minutes too early.

Groucho Marx put it this way:

Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.