What Does the Bible Say About Dating?

[garylwilson]

Dear Newbie

Simple reply:  NO.  You can't approach men.   Men rule.  DON'T HIT ME.
I AM JUST KIDDING.
MAYBE OTHERS - ESPECIALLY WOMEN - WOULD LIKE TO COMMENT ON THIS.

If you are yeilded to the Lord, seeking Him, seeking to honor Him in all things.  If you are modest - not brash - seeking purity in a relationship, then why not.  This also assumes you have had some dealing with the said person and therefore have past history to go on.
There is one difference.  We men can be easily swayed by a women.  A women can easily turn a man's head.  I speak in generalities.  So in that light, be careful
Also, he or she that 1st reveals their heart must be willing to accept the other person's reply.
Before I was a Christian and met Linda I had always did the dating chess thing.  You know what I mean?  Cleverly find out the others position before risking.  God turned all that updside down.  It was mostly mean always taking the 1st step.  OUCH.  But I needed that.  I needed to learn to risk and reveal my heart.  
Linda did give me some initial encouragements.  Actually our opinions differ on that but it did help at times.  
She was modest but by no means a passive puppet.
I don't have any specific scripture - only scriptures that point to living the Christian life.  "Do all to the glory of God, etc,etc."  Can you show interest in another in a God glorfiying way?  

[Laura]

Questioning brings up some good..uh..questions. DOes anyone who is still involed with the assemblies know if the assembly's view on this has changed at all?  Not to be exclusive or anything, I think we could all benefit from anyones thoughts on this.

[garylwilson]

Hi Laura

     I'm still in Fullerton.  Has anyone's view changed on this.  I don't know.  I would be surprised if this doesn't.  I would be it would be the natural outgrowth of many changes.


Now. If one believes the past assembly structure was this.

If you come into fellowship here, then you only spend time with those in fellowship here.  Outside Christians are exclude unless they come into the local gathering
If you are a women then you are limited to men in fellowship in one of the assemblies.  God could not lead you into a relationship with a Godly man in another fellowship thus removing you.
If you are born in one of the assemblies then your scope is that of one of the assemblies.  These are just observations not complaints.

My experience:  I am an odd ball.
I met Linda before coming into Fullerton assembly.  We were friends for 2/3 of year.
I start fellowshipping at assembly in Nov - Linda doesn't BUT God begins bringing us together.
From Nov to April - when I asked Linda to marry me, I am involved in Fullerton but Linda is not.  God continues to knit our hearts together.
I had asked her out a number of times but never forced the issue.

Linda and I get engaged.  Linda - apart from me - decides God wants her to come into Fullerton.  Humbling as it may seem, I don't think it was because I was so sort of irrestible hunk.  
So God can apart outside the sphere of an assembly.

MISSBT2003  - GREAT POST - COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER.  FOR THAT MATTER COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT AS WELL

LAURA - YOUR POST CRACKED ME UP.  HANDSOME, INTELLIGENT, GODLY MAN.  WHO ABOUT HANDSOME, INTELLIGENT, GODLY HUCK OF A MAN.  JUST KIDDING.  IS THAT THE ORDER OF PRECEDENCE.  WHAT DO US BROS. PUT FOR THE SISTERS.  GORGEOUS, NOT DOWN DEAD,
INTELLIGENT, WITTY, GODLY DISH OF A SISTER.  "JUST KIDDING"
IT WAS A GOOD POST BUT REALLY GAVE ME A SMILE.  THANKS

[SugarMagnolia]

I think its a fallacy to assume that God has only one possible person for you to marry.  There may be many compatible possible marriage partners out there that God approves of.  Those who believe that God has only one person for them are operating under one of two fallacies.  First, that the extent that God can work in your life is dependent upon another person (your spouse) rather than your own obedient response to His will.  Secondly, that God has a SPECIFIC will for everything.  Let me qualify that with an example.  When I wake up in the morning I don't immediately seek God's will on what breakfast cereal I should eat.  That would be silly.  The Bible does not say anything about breakfast cereal choices.  Neither does it say how one should go about finding a spouse, other than we should do it in purity.  The point is, SOMETIMES IT IS GOD'S WILL THAT WE MAKE A CHOICE.  THAT'S WHY HE GAVE US BRAINS AND FREE WILL.

[Oscar]

Dear Questioning:

From my perspective as a man (brother), one thing I don't appreciate is when half a dozen people or more tell you whom they think you should marry (always the same person, in my case) and then put pressure on you to do it, without knowing your financial situation or whether or not you're fit to be a husband.  I'm not saying that God can't work that way, but I look for His word in the Word as well as through other people.  I must admit, though, that I have difficulty in "claiming promises" for this particular thing--

By the way, Questioning, in which assembly are you in fellowship?  If you are who I think you are we need to talk.

Matt Sciaini

[Eulaha L. Long]

Maybe I'm off or something, but I don't think God has selected a certain someone to be one's husband/wife.  I think He gives us a lot of promises and feedback on what one's marriage partner will be like.  You can't look in the Bible and find the name of a potential mate!

[Eulaha L. Long]

I wasn't quite done yet...be patient with me!  

What is a date?  To me, a date is going out with someone of the opposite sex, to talk and fun togather, maybe going out to dinner or mini-golfing, etc.  It doesn't have to end in immorality!!  And there doesn't need to be any stirring up of emotions.  Maybe it is because of my age (29), but my emotions aren't necessarily stirred up.  Sometimes I may make a new friend.  There have been men who have been interested in marriage.  For that, there needs to be time of seeking God and getting to know the person.  I don't think talking on the phone is a good way to really get to know someone who is interested in marriage.  I prefer face-to-face contact.  You may find that that particular person is not your type, or has some character flaws that you can not put up with.  So, you move on with your life.  Done deal.

The world's idea of dating is totally different...

Any input?  Again, this is my opinion, and my conviction before God.  

[Oscar]

Dear Questioning:

From my perspective as a man (brother), one thing I don't appreciate is when half a dozen people or more tell you whom they think you should marry (always the same person, in my case) and then put pressure on you to do it, without knowing your financial situation or whether or not you're fit to be a husband.  I'm not saying that God can't work that way, but I look for His word in the Word as well as through other people.  I must admit, though, that I have difficulty in "claiming promises" for this particular thing--

By the way, Questioning, in which assembly are you in fellowship?  If you are who I think you are we need to talk.

Matt Sciaini

Matt Sciani,

How did your post go on the board under my name?

Tom M.

[Rudy]

A Yiddish saying:

"A man chases a woman until she catches him". Selah.

Another saying - not necessarily Yiddish :

"Even a blind dog finds a bone once in a while"

Harr, Harr, aye, matees  

[Rudy]

A necessary explanation ensues:

"blind dog" does not refer to women or men.
It refers to certain individuals.

I speak in code - call me secret squirrel  

[SugarMagnolia]

Dang Verne, you're right.  She does have the ULTIMATE decison. Technically, however, she can't choose to marry me unless I first choose to marry her as well.  And given that in today's society many (although increasingly fewer) women are uncomfortable in chasing after guys, guys have even more power in the decision.  Not only does he choose if he's going to "pop the question," he also chooses who he is going to persue in light of marriage.

[matt sciaini]

Dear Tom:

I'm sorry, brother---I'm not sure myself how I posted under your name.  I have been trying to register for awhile and still don't know how to do it.

Forgive me--it was a mistake.

Matt Sciaini

[Rudy]

Ben,

In Africa there is a tribe where the men are on display and
the women pick their husband.

In New York, the women pick up the guys in bars.

Yes, yes, these are carnal examples. However, in reality
if people admit it or not, the woman makes the final choice.
The poor guy goes through the agony of searching, talking
to people and then asking - bang, shot down again. A
friendly word of advice: don't buy a engagement ring
before you know the woman you are courting wants
to marry you. Just trying to save you some heartache bro.  

[SugarMagnolia]

. A
friendly word of advice: don't buy a engagement ring
before you know the woman you are courting wants
to marry you. Just trying to save you some heartache bro.  

Don't worry, I won't.  For one thing, I'm a pretty cautious person and don't like to take unecessary risks.  Also, you're assuming I have enough game to get a woman to allow me to court her.  

[Rudy]

Don't look at that as a problem.
Consider it a blessing.
If I tried to explain that right now,
Hooo boy, would there be some
posts !