Oscar
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« Reply #60 on: February 03, 2003, 05:40:35 am » |
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Hi folks,
People that feel dating is wrong basically believe this is true because the Bible doesn't tell us to do so.
The wisdom issues are built on this base.
The problem with this idea is two-fold.
1. The usual alternative suggested is "courtship". The problem with this is that it seems to be nothing more than dating wisely. How do you know you wish to marry, or even think about marrying someone you don't know?
2. The "Biblical" alternative is having parents arrange marriages. That what was done in both OT and NT times.
In the assembly and in similar groups, the group's leaders somehow think they are authorized by God to stand in the place of parents, assuming that this really is the "Biblical" way.
I really don't think dating is even avoidable. In my assembly years there was a common joke. Where is brother John? Oh, he and sister Jane are out on a d.........spending time together.
Tom
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Nate Dogg
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« Reply #61 on: February 04, 2003, 07:12:05 am » |
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Dating is great !I love dating! (as an ex AK) With my significant other now, we would not have been able to get to a serious place in our relationship without "dating". We needed not to come into it with high expectations.
this theological wrangling I think avoids some of what rudy and Tom have helpfully brought up: In the majority of biblical societies marriages were arranged-- the concept of love never entered in. It was a business deal sealing a relationship between two families. Not to say that love didnt come out of these arrangments. Interestingly enough, and you can correct me on this, but I dont think Jesus ever preached against arranged marriages. Jesus also never explicitly condemned slavery for that matter. Yet we find these practices reprehensible. He did preach love your enemies, which our current administration, notwithstanding its invocation of Christ's blessing on the current war on terror, seems to be ignoring. Just food for thought.
peace and blessings,
Nate
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Eulaha L. Long
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« Reply #62 on: February 04, 2003, 07:46:21 am » |
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I agree with you Nate Dogg. There is much depth in the relationship I am having with my current male friend. We could never experience the depths that we have experienced unless we really got to know each other first.
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karensanford
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« Reply #63 on: February 04, 2003, 08:34:24 am » |
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This happens in cities (and towns, and villages..) all over, not just NY! 
In New York, the women pick up the guys in bars.
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Eulaha L. Long
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« Reply #64 on: February 06, 2003, 12:00:37 am » |
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Uh...I live in New York, and I have never even been in a bar. let alone picked up someone in a bar! Sorry to burst your bubble! |
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Rudy
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« Reply #65 on: February 06, 2003, 01:25:48 am » |
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Well if you've never been in a New York bar that would disqualify you as a witness, eh ?  Keep it that way, stay clean |
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Stillwater
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« Reply #66 on: February 16, 2003, 11:01:18 am » |
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Speaking of dating, . . . In my experience, the Assembly taboo on dating went way beyond just not dating. I had the impression that if I even talked to a brother at the meetings too much, that would be wrong. The result was that I knew guys outside the Assembly much better than the ones in it, in spite of seeing the Assembly brothers almost every day. What about never having a guy in your house. . . unless it was an older, married brother who was counseling you? That's a double standard. Of course, the brothers would always agree to meet somewhere other than my house if I called them on it. I also felt pretty hypocritical talking to unsaved guys or new guys on the phone for hours "for outreach purposes" and then avoiding ever talking to Assembly brothers on the phone. I'm not making this up. Once a guy got comfortable talking to the LB's, I was supposed to stop the phone conversations, but before that, I was "serving the Lord" by telephoning with these men.  I was wrong to go along with such obvious manipulation of the outside brothers/potential Christians.  Now, I feel free to hang out with guys and don't worry too much about whether or not it's a "date." I just keep myself pure and get to know new people. |
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Heide
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« Reply #67 on: February 23, 2003, 08:34:51 am » |
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Does anyone remember what book we went thru in SLO about dating? Uh, yea, a meeting I must have uh, um, missed...
Heide
P.S. Thanks Rudy for chosing NY and not California women!
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Heide
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« Reply #68 on: February 23, 2003, 08:40:30 am » |
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I do remember a sisters meeting that Betty led. The main thing that I walked away with is that a married womans focus is her husband and a single womans focus ought to be getting married. Needless to say I didn't stick around for the end of the meeting. Being a single woman I couldn't imagine marrying a man out of the assembly. What!?! Being told what to do.....
How did dating get to be so wrong? From what I have read about Tim G he dated LOTS.
Heide
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Stillwater
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« Reply #69 on: February 24, 2003, 06:17:24 am » |
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Heide,
I think this is an issue of control. If they control who/if you get married, they have a huge hold on you. If they can get you to marry someone highly commited to them, they can strengthen their hold on you. Also, if you are single, not dating, with no close friends of the opposite sex, then you are bound to be unhappy and stressed. Unhappy, stressed people are easier to manipulate than secure, happy people.
Heather
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Rudy
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« Reply #70 on: February 24, 2003, 07:15:01 am » |
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Heather,
I can't agree with you more. Relationships are tools in the hands of the
manipulators. I remember Ed Malone telling me that in a workers meeting
in Omaha they were trying to get his wife Linda, to turn against him. That
was probably the last straw for them. I'm glad they are out - since 1989.
I hate to think of what other schenanigans have been going on behind the
'closed doors' of the workers' meetings. And you know what, they would
never say anything about nothing when it came to those meetings.
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Eulaha L. Long
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« Reply #71 on: February 24, 2003, 11:27:29 pm » |
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Yo Heide, We went thru a book called WHY I KISSED DATING GOODBYE. It was pretty good book, but as usual, the Assembly took it one step further than the author meant. If I remember correctly, the author says that although he doesn't believe in dating, and will not date, he DOES NOT believe dating is a sin. Of course the leadership forgot to mention that part...  |
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Stillwater
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« Reply #72 on: February 25, 2003, 04:37:23 am » |
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Rudy,
That's awful. That doesn't sound like love, much less "God's best." (This isn't a comment on their marriage--just the leaders' idea of making sure we get "God's best" in our marriages.)
And Eulaha, if you read Josh Harris's second book, he goes to great pains to elaborate on dating not being sin. He tries to pull the emphasis back more toward purity rather than dating vs. courtship. It's a heart thing not a Christian formula (Do this, do that, in order, presto, GOD'S BEST!), amen?
Heather
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Eulaha L. Long
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« Reply #73 on: February 25, 2003, 10:13:12 pm » |
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Amen sis! Aren't you glad we are free from the law? We talked about it in the Assembly, and sang songs about it, yet we lived according to the law! I date, and I'm fine with it, cause God is in the picture. My guy is a believer, and loves the Lord! Thank you Jesus!  |
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Arlene
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« Reply #74 on: March 05, 2003, 08:24:03 am » |
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"I do not believe that dating is sinful. Some people have sinned as a result of dating, but I don't think anyone can accurately say that dating in and of itself is a sinful activity. I view dating in a similar light as I view fastfood restaurants. It's not wrong to eat there, but something far better is available." Elisabeth Elliot
Tuesday, September 08, 1998
Teenage Temptations
Forget About Dating
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