What Does the Bible Say About Dating?

[Stillwater]

Arlene,

  I have to say I disagree with this quote. I know that I'm different from most people, so maybe what's good for me isn't good for you. In my case, I've been withdrawn from men most of my life. Also, I don't have any brothers or sisters. Since I didn't date or hang out with guys in the Assembly, I had no idea what they were like. It has been extremely valuable for me since I've gotten out to spend time getting to know the opposite sex. It's helped me to be more comfortable around men in general, to learn that they're all different and HUMAN, just like women, and to not run into unrealistic expectations every time a guy smiles at me. People really do look great from a distance, but a lot of times, once you get to know them, you realize you don't fit. For me, the courtship idea demands too much commitment from the outset. I need the freedom to just hang and get to know lots of different guys. I'm not endorsing promiscuity--just meeting casually to get to know people.
  That's my 2 cents.

  Heather

[Arlene]

Heather;
The quote is from someone I respect, that does not mean I agree 100% with her.
I have teenagers and I am not stoping them from spending time to get to know the opposite sex.   I agree with your point on, "the freedom to just hang and get to know lots of different guys".
Now that we are attending a Church in town my daughter has said, "this means now I can marry someone who's not in the assembly".     Not that she is ready right now.
Arlene

[Stillwater]

Arlene,

  I hope my post didn't offend. It wasn't meant to. I just wanted to soften the metaphor a bit. "Fast food" is harsh. Fast food is unquestionably bad for you, whereas, in my case, I feel that dating has been good. In fact, it's been essential for me to regain perspective on myself, men and relationships. My background is one of hostility and fear toward men from early on, and I met the saints when I was 16, further increasing my isolation from men.
  The Assembly allowed me to deceive myself into believing I was avoiding men in order to be godly, when in truth, I was avoiding men because of leftover fear from my childhood. Mislabeling my reason for not dating allowed me to avoid the truth that there was a wound from my past that needed healing. Now that I've ignored the problem for so long, it's that much harder to fix, but by God's mercies, I've met some nice men and been privileged to spend time with them, learning to let go of my anger and fear toward the opposite sex and open into healthy, pure relationships.
  Besides helping me deal with my feelings toward men, dating has helped me to learn to be "in the world, not of the world" again. It was much simpler for me to hide behind the Bible. Dating is messy and imprecise and hard, but so is life. And that's the point for me. Accepting that relationships are hard has been a part of my acceptance that God doesn't remove all difficulties once we enter the Christian life. Dating has moved me closer to the truth about God!
  Arlene, I think you and I are pretty much of the same opinion--just expressing ourselves differently-- so please don't see this post as an argument. I just wanted to share a little more of my story in the hopes that it will help someone else. Maybe there are other girls out there who are hiding from life behind a Bible instead of dealing with their real problems.

  Good night!
  Heather

[Arlene]

It did not offend.  
I enjoy hearing and reading others view on dating.  These days a mom can use any help she can find.  

[Joe Sperling]

Heather---

Thanks for your post. I too have avoided men thinking it was  the godly thing to do. Or maybe avoiding men was
something leftover from my childhood. In the Assembly I wasn't allowed to date men......hey wait a minute, what the heck am I saying??

--Joe

[Stillwater]

Yeah, yeah,yeah.