I am no longer a believer in a personal God.
Have you noticed that some of the most dyed-in-the-wool sceptics have stepped back from the precipice of intransigent atheism? I am talking about several well-known members of the scientific community.
Granted that they are hedging their bets by employing the non-commital euphemism of "intelligent design", most folk would agree that intelligence is nothing if not "personal".
After leaving the Geftakys group in 1994 I had to reconcile the fact that I had just spent the last 15 years of my life making a jackass out of myself and I was suppose to go on believing that 'God had a reason" for all this? I tried. I went to other churches but I kept running into the same kinds of hypocrisy, contradictions, ludicrous behaviors that I had experienced in the Assembly.
On the one hand, your legitimate complaint highlights the seriousness of George's transgression in the way it "destroyed the faith of many". It is still nothing short of astonishing that some folk still do not understand the way God views this sort of tihing. I have said enough about that.
On the other hand, I must conclude that you are not being entirely honest regarding the reason for your stated unbelief.
All my questioning always boiled down to the same insufficient answer, "We can't understand God's plan" "We just have to believe by faith in his word!" This no longer worked for me! I needed to just start calling life the way I see it. I really can't see a living personal God at work in the world.
Here is the problem with your line of reasoning. While you are right about salvation being a matter of faith, you have made it a matter of your opinion - "I can't see a living personal God at work in the world".
The more potent argument you could make is " I reject faith in God becaue I found the witness of His Word to be false"
If you want to be truly confident in your unbelief, you must be certain in your own mind of the latter.
Remember the basis of faith is that
God is true, not your fellow man.
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
As long as you spend all your time looking for affirmation of your faith in your fellow man, you will in all likelihood continue to be disappointed.
Assume for a second that everythihg the Bible says about God is true. You know the score - that He so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever etc. etc. etc.
Forget for a moment the Bible as history, and the inumerable indisputable facts that attest to its divine orgin.
Forget for a moment the towering declaration of the first chapter of Romans regarding the visibility of His eternal power and Godhead in the creation.
Is it possible that in all the years that you made a profession of faith, that God Himself,
never in any way vouchsafed His goodnes, kindness, and mercy in your own life personally?
If the true answer to that question is that 'No, He never has", then you are right to be an unbeliever - not because of what you see in others, but rather because of what you yourself
know personally...
I won't post anything else so other sceptics can weigh in but I just had to say something, Hope you don't mind.
Verne